Saturday 26 October 2013

Parent-Teacher Relationships: From respectful, to indifferent, to just plain rude!

A teacher’s take on parent-teacher relationships…

Parents, who do you have a better relationship with – your hairdresser or your child’s teacher? The profound and lasting impact that a positive, respectful parent-teacher relationship has on a child’s learning and determining their life-chances, is often rarely realised.

A teacher’s life is dedicated to facilitating a supportive, positive environment in which all children can be challenged to achieve their best in all areas of social, emotional, physical, behavioural and cognitive learning. Too many parents are at best indifferent toward their child’s teacher, and in some cases are just plain disrespectful, untrusting and rude (I’d guess that all teachers have had to deal with, as a minimum, some form of verbal abuse from parents at some stage of their career).
My last three posts have all explored the idea of respect for teachers – the importance of students respecting their teachers and the lack for respect for teachers from society in general. I’ve missed a major stake-holder in the education business, so I’ll use this post to address them… parents! How well do you know your child’s teacher? Do you respect them? Do you trust them? How often do you communicate with them positively?       
               
Read this popular Ron Clark CNN article (plus a follow-up article here). The open letter to parents called for parents to “be a partner instead of a prosecutor” and to “have our backs, and we need you to give us the respect we deserve”. “We know you love your children. We love them, too”.
Alternatively, if you want to read a colourful rebuttal, read this Laurie A. Couture post which includes claims that “Teachers routinely inflict an environment of chronic physical and emotional distress on children” and that school children are held as “hostages, against their wills” by “factory-like” schools that force “the population to deny the self, homogenize, obey and consume… ignor[ing] their bodies, emotions, passions, interests, questions, ideas, creative impulses, purposes and needs”.

Yikes! All I can say is for the sake of teachers everywhere, I’m glad Couture’s son is, as she terms it, “unschooled” because imagine if she was a parent of one of your pupils. Perhaps parents need reminding that a teacher’s priority is to do what’s in the best interests of the child. We’re not the bad guys we’re sometimes made out to be. We’re not in it for the holidays, as some people believe. We’re obviously not in it for the money. We’re teachers because we care about children. Surely that’s worth some respect?

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The ‘respect series from Teachling:A teacher's take on respecting teachers, pt2...
A teacher's take on respecting teachers, pt1...
A teacher's take on earning respect from students...

Saturday 19 October 2013

Just A Lowly Teacher

A teacher’s take on respecting teachers, pt.2…

So, when I was starting out at uni I thought I was entering a highly respected and noble field. Now, I feel as though society barely views teaching as a ‘profession’. My nephew is currently finishing high school and when telling his Dad (my brother) that he wanted to study Education, his Dad said, “Why would you want to be just a lowly teacher?”
Here I am wondering if society respects my work; If my own family doesn’t, what hope do I have that the rest of the world does?




Well, I’m clearly biased, but I believe that teachers can change the world. We shape lives and make a goddamn difference.  Teaching is a profession.

We hear criticisms of education systems and educations in the media constantly, and closer to home, the contempt with which some (certainly not all) of my student’s parents interact with me always astounds me. Shockingly though, it doesn’t upset me, because teachers have come to accept that there are many people in this world that do not treat us the honour, respect or dignity that we deserve.
-TeachlingTeachling’s Wordpress, Teachling's Tumblr

More on this from Teachling:
A teacher's take on respecting teacher, pt1...
A teacher's take on earning respect from students...
More about respecting teachers:
What Teachers Make (Taylor Mali, TED Talk)
Supporting Our Teachers (Government of South Australia)
Do Teachers Get Enough Respect From Society? (voxxi.com)
Why Do Some Countries Respect Their Teachers More Than Others? (theguardian.com)
No Society Can Succeed Without Respecting Teachers (thefrontierpost.com)


Teachers Make A Goddamn Difference

A teacher’s take on respecting teachers, pt.1…

So, during my usual TED Talk browsing (if you don’t know what a TED Talk is, look it up and prepare to lose lots of time, but expand your mind more than you ever thought possible!), I came across this poem titled “What do teachers make?” by Taylor Mali.

I wonder; How do you think society views teachers? On par with doctors? Lawyers? Librarians? Baby-sitters? Burger-flippers? Criminals? Homeless? Check-out chicks? Politicians?

Teachers got a very good wrap on World Teachers Day, October 5, in Australia when The Project hosts visited their own past teachers and Charlie Pickering stated, “Teachers are the most important people in our society”.

Thanks Taylor and Charlie, for sticking up for us.

-Teachling



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


More from Teachling:
A teacher's take on earning respect from students...
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Teachling’s Wordpress, Teachling's Tumblr

Monday 14 October 2013

What do kids think of me?

A teacher’s take on earning respect from students…
Be warm. Care. Laugh. Be human.
Loosen the reigns, but don’t lose control.

I’m not interested in whether my students want to be my besties. I don’t care if they think I’m cool (which is lucky because I just ooze daggy!). I don’t care if they ‘like’ me, but I do care whether or not they respect me.
Great relationship + High expectations = Respect.
At least, that’s what I believe… Relationships need to be positive and productive, built on trust and mutual goals. ‘Expectations’ refers to a demand for excellence. All students can learn and it’s a teacher’s role to help kids achieve their potential.

Great relationship + Lack of expectations = Friend, not a teacher.
Lack of relationship + High Expectations = 1950’s teacher (good luck in the 21st century!)
Lack of relationship + Lack of expectations = Indifference (why bother being a teacher)

To me, teachers need to actively build positive and productive relationships with their students, whilst also having the highest expectations for learning. I believe that it’s possible, for you to have excellent working relationships with your students, but that does not mean a teacher needs to compromise on their expectations for learning. In fact, surely the higher the quality of the student-teacher relationships, the higher the quality of the learning environment, the higher the quality of the learning.

If you’re a teacher, do you think your students respect you? Do you think it matters? Have you earned it?

If you’re a parent, do your children respect their teacher? Does it matter? Do you respect their teacher?

As a starting point, this post lists 10 key ways to build a respectful relationship with students [http://whatedsaid.wordpress.com/2010/08/28/10-ways-to-get-your-students-respect/]. I’ve come across a few other pieces recently that talk about student respect for teachers, such as this article comparing respect levels for teachers in countries around the world [http://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/teacher-blog/2013/oct/03/teachers-rated-worldwide-global-survey], or this article which speaks the truth about teachers nowadays needing to ‘earn’ respect, unlike years gone by [http://www.educationworld.com/a_curr/columnists/martin/martin011.shtml], or this blog entry which begins, “Dear students, Your teachers are not out to get you, I promise…” [http://itsssnix.tumblr.com/post/62952676811/dear-students].

-  Teachling


More from Teachling:
A teacher's take on positive thoughts and how kids let negative thoughts consume them...
A teacher's take on independence and helicopter parents...
A teacher's take on the jargon of explicit teaching...
A teacher's take on "How Children Learn"...
A teacher's take on self-help and parenting advice...
A teacher's take on blogs...
 
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Teachling’s Wordpress, Teachling’s Blog.com, Teachling’s Blogspot, Teachling's Tumblr

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Saturday 5 October 2013

It was just 5 minutes out of 390!


A teacher’s take on positive thoughts… 
and how kids let negative thoughts consume them!


















Don’t kids usually believe what we tell them? So, if you tell them that they had a terrible day at school, did boring work, weren't allowed to be creative, were bullied or teased in the playground and got yelled at by their teacher, they’ll probably agree, wouldn't they? If you tell them that their day was amazing, full of fun, great times playing with great friends and learnt cool new things, they’ll probably agree with that too, wouldn't they?

I’m having this wondering following a conversation I had with a parent this week. Lucy's* mother came into my office before school to tell me all about an ‘incident’ that happened at lunch time the day before. Long story short, her 6 year old daughter felt excluded from a game some of her friends were playing. Alarm bells rang in my head when the mother next told me, “We talked about it for half an hour… So that I could find out exactly what happened, if it’s happened in the past and what the other girls did and said…”

My reflex (and I’m glad I asked) was “Did Lucy tell you anything else about school yesterday?” “No”, said the mother.

You mean to tell me, that Lucy was at school for 6 ½ hours yesterday, and the only thing she told you about was the 5 minutes in which she felt unhappy... And you indulged her?
She was at school for 390 minutes; 385 were positive, 5 were not. And you spent half an hour talking about those 5 minutes?
Simple Math would tell me that by talking about 5 negative minutes for half an hour after school, that you then also spent 39 hours talking about the 385 minutes of positive experiences she had? No? Wait, you spent NO time talking about the positive aspects of her day?
It was just 5 minutes out of 390, and we've allowed that minor incident consume Lucy's thoughts?

Well, of course I didn’t actually SAY any of that, but I was certainly wishing I could have. Of course Lucy's mother and I then spent 15 minutes talking about the incident; her telling me every detail 3rd hand. We discussed the usual where we can go from here, how we can work together to make sure Lucy has a positive lunch experience, etc. Apparently being excluded from the game had completely turned Lucy off school and she didn't even want to come in today. I wonder why? Let's not forget that Lucy has been sent the message that if just 5 minutes out of 390 are negative, then that's what we focus on.

Sadly, now the 5 minute incident has been given 30 minutes of air time at home and an extra 20 in my office, and still those other positive 385 minutes have received no mention. I wonder, as the parent in the situation, how might Lucy's mother have approached this whole situation differently? When her daughter got home and inevitably told her about the lunch time incident, could the mother simply have said something along the lines of, “Oh well, these things happen, but next time you might try ___. Now, most importantly, tell me about your FAVOURITE part of the day!” Might this have totally changed Lucy's perspective?

Here's a Teachling Tip - Kids will inevitably tell you first, about the part of their day that they didn’t enjoy. This is because they are still developing their 'emotional filters'. They let negative thoughts consume them. The way adults respond can make all the difference. Next time your child tells you about a negative incident that happened to them, will you indulge them, or redirect their thoughts to the positive? Remember than the incident was probably just 5 minutes out of 390... It seems silly to pay too much attention to the negative.

-       Teachling

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Helicopter Parents... More Harm Than Good?


A teacher’s take on independence…
So, Destiny’s Child would lead you to believe that if one buys her own diamonds and her own rings, then she is an independent woman. Does that 13 year old (yikes!) song define independence… someone who is self-supporting or self-reliant?
Clearly, parenting styles have changed and with any change there’s also bound to be side effects. Is so-called ‘over parenting’ leading to a cohort of children that cannot do anything for themselves and in turn actually expect everything to be done for them? Make my breakfast, tidy my bedroom, defend me when my teacher says I’ve done the wrong thing, let me do whatever I want with discipline, fix all of my problems for me… A post from a fellow blogger (http://runningawayfrom49.wordpress.com/2013/09/02/another-great-thing-about-the-1980s/) got me thinking about independence and the important learning curve that MUST take place for children on their journey toward it, and the potentially detrimental effects, perfectly well-meaning [helicopter] parents are having on their children. I’m talking here about a small percentage of parents.
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As a teacher I’ve come across a plethora of parents that are always there to step in when things for their child aren’t quite going to plan. Maybe it’s been a playground disagreement, maybe the child’s being playing up in class, maybe there’s been a difficulty with their learning, maybe it’s been suspiciously adult-like completion of projects, maybe it’s generally parents taking matter into their own hands and in the process taking them out of their child’s.
I’ll restrain from going on too much of a rant, but here’s a Teachling Tip – Relax! Your kid’s going to turn out alright. Not only that, but they’ll actually be better off by you “cutting the cord” (or if that’s too much too soon, at least “slack the cord”). Giving them space to figure things out on their own and dare I say, make mistakes along the way, will teach them valuable lessons in building resilience, taking responsibility for their actions, their belongings, their relationships, their learning, and so on. If they have a problem, don’t solve it for them and certainly don’t make ityour problem. Guide them if you will, or completely step back. They’ll figure it out, trust them.
Children need to learn to take responsibility, as an essential step toward becoming effecting individuals and citizens. Given I teach first grade, examples of children that are yet to develop any sense of independence appear insignificant, but isn’t this the best time to change habits (after all, it’s much easier to change habits early, rather than try to break established habits later!). “Mum left my book bag at home” (um, no, it’s your book bag and you should be responsible for bringing it to school). “I just got back from the bathroom and I don’t know what to do” (well look around, every other student in the class is eating their lunch, what do you suppose you should do?). “I don’t have a chair to sit on” (there’s a two spare chairs at the table behind you, just pull one of them over). Maybe I’m expecting too much – they are 6 years old after all. But, put it all in a context where everything is done for them, they’re never held responsible for wrong-doing, someone is always there to protect them from failure, and you find yourself just a few years away from a child with serious independence issues. I mean this in the nicest way possible – A child needs to learn to fend for themselves.
Here’s another Teachling Tip – Start by making your child responsible for their ‘things’ and soon they’ll learn to take responsibility for many aspects of their lives and their independence will grow. For example, make them pack their own schoolbag, maybe even make their own lunch, carry their belongings to class, and more! What do you think? Am I expecting too much?

Meet WALT, WALA, WILF & TIB


A teacher’s take on the jargon of explicit teaching…
I know that parents have to decode a lot of jargon whilst their kids are at school. I’m often asked about some of the acronyms commonly seen and heard in my classroom. Perhaps they sound more like a quartet of elderly folks in a retirement home, however WALT, WILF, WALA and TIB are some the latest educational buzz words.
Explicit teaching focusses students toward the learning/understanding/skill, rather than the doing/task/activity. Below are some useful acronyms that are becoming more and more common in schools, for making learning explicit for children.
WALT = We Are Learning To…
Sometimes called a Learning Intention, a WALT  makes the learning, concept, understanding or skill clear to students. For example, “We are learning to use talking marks in our writing”. I find WALTs extremely useful in differentiating between the task or activity and the actual learning. Without some element of explicit teaching, students prove very competent in articulating what they are ‘doing’ rather than what they are ‘learning’ by doing it. I learned this in my very first week of teaching when I was attempting to teach children the ‘count on’ strategy for totally two numbers by getting them to play a simple die-rolling game called Cover Up. When I asked them to explain their learning, most answered with some form of “I learned to play Cover Up” rather than what I’d hoped for – “I learned to add the numbers by counting on from the bigger number”.
WILF = What I’m Looking For…Sometimes called Success Criteria, a WILF makes clear to students, what they are expected to demonstrate or produce. For example, the teacher might make explicit that he’s looking for the correct use of punctuation, such as talking marks to indicate characters speaking.
WALA = We Are Learning About…A WALA statement is often useful for covering a broader topic or concept, without getting in to the nitty gritty of specific skills. For example, a WALA might be “We are learning about writing fiction stories” whereas a WALT would be more specific such as “We are learning to write a fiction story with an orientation that describes the main character and setting”.
TIB = This Is Because…TIB explicitly describes the purpose of the learning and might clearly make connections to other skills or understandings or articulate the application of the concept. Basically, why are we learning this?
Education is one particular profession where new initiatives, approaches, buzz words, etc, come and go, and sometimes even pop up again years down the track. Kath Murdoch’s post “The question of learning intentions” (http://justwonderingblog.com/2013/08/04/the-question-of-learning-intentions/) makes some interesting points regarding explicit teaching, which I am inclined to agree with! I especially like her examples for re-framing WALTs as questions. “For example, I might once have said to students that, as self managers, they would be “learning to devise an effective action plan to meet a goal”.  Now, I pose a question: “How can we devise effective action plans to help us meet our goals?””  (Murdoch, August 4, 2013) 
Any teachers out there, what do you think? Any parents out there, what do you think? Should we be telling kids exactly what we expect them to be learning at a given time, or could we be, as Kath says in her post, “reigning in the potential for discovery”?
-Teachling

Don't Teach Kids, Let Them Learn


A teacher’s take on “How Children Learn”…
So, I was leaving the supermarket yesterday, as was a 2’ish year old girl and her Dad. She was ecstatic about her brand new toy camera – a big, plastic, bright red and yellow thing with a little mirror where the lens should be, clicky-noise buttons and a little hole for the viewfinder. She was holding it backwards, staring and giggling at herself in the mirror, poking her finger in the viewfinder hole and pressing at the buttons. Within a minute, the magic seemed to disappear as her Dad took it off her to show her “how to do it properly” – “hold it this way, look through here, point it at me and push down the button… like a real one!”. I shuddered. He was a lovely, caring father, who’d just purchased a fun goodie for his little girl. He certainly meant well. But, I saw her look confused, trying to use her new toy “properly”. My question… What was wrong with how she was playing with it in the first place?
This situation reminded me of something I read long ago in John Holt’s “How Children Learn”…
“I had thought that he might like Cuisenaire rods, and I was curious to see what he might do with them. So, one day when I visited his parents, I took a box of rods with me. We opened it and showed him all the little colored sticks. He was enchanted. Like glass bears to primitive people, these hundreds of pieces of brightly colored wood looked to him like the most real wealth in the words. We emptied the box out on the rug, and for a while he just sat there, picking up handfuls of the rods and letting them run through his fingers, drunk with excitement and joy, looking for all the world like a proverbial miser with his money. I know now that I should have let him go on playing with the rods in his own way, getting his own kind of pleasure out of them, taking in information about them through his eyes and fingers, gradually exploring their possibilities. At the same time, I felt I had to start him off ‘learning’ something…”
(Holt, J. 1983. ‘How Children Learn’, Penguin Books, England. p128)
Well you can guess how that story ends. Much in the same way the little girl I saw stopped marvelling over her shiny new mystery box, and instead started clumsily trying to use her toy “properly”, the boy in Holt’s anecdote wasn’t interested in ‘being taught’. Do you feel good when someone explicitly demonstrates your inferiority? Would you say out loud, “You’re not good enough at this, but I’m better than you, so just let me show you how it’s done”? I doubt it, but our actions just might send that exact message.
What I take away from all this is, don’t teach kids… let them learn! Traditionally, teachers were keepers of the truth and fact, demonstraters of the right way, there to fill kids up with knowledge and skills. Perhaps teachers are better off being a partner in a child’s learning. Offer them guidance, set up experiences in which they can learn, apply and make connections. Make learning natural and relevant. What do you think?
- Teachling